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Prostate Massage

Medical detail

No matter what motivations or desired outcomes brings people to this practice, the basic facts of the male physiology don't change. Note the illustrations below.

Three male reproductive organs are directly involved in the technique of prostate massage and milking,  the prostate gland, the seminal vesicles, and Cowper’s (bulbourethral) gland. The testes produce sperm on a more or less steady basis. It takes 74 days for them to mature to a point where they could be useful in reproduction. They are stored in the epididymis while they mature. The epididymis is a tube-like structure attached to the outside of the ball or testicle, though both are inside the sack and not visible. If the sperm are not used after maturity they are absorbed back into the body.

Contrary to popular belief, they are not constantly building up with no place to go if there is no ejaculation, drainage or other discharge. Even though there are tens of millions of sperm in a typical ejaculate, they only contribute 2% − 5% of the volume.

During sexual arousal blood and lymph engorge the penis, scrotal area and the prostate, all of which may be noticed in varying degrees based on the level of arousal. During this arousal three other components of the ejaculate are produced. The prostate gland produces a small amount of alkaline fluid to counteract the acidity of the vagina and protect the sperm. This accounts for about 30% of the ejaculate and is the origin of the bitter taste sometimes experienced. The bulbourethral gland secretes a small amount of clear lubricating liquid (sometimes seen before ejaculation as “precum”) to help speed the ejaculate along the urethra. Usually this is only about 5% of the ejaculate, but prolonged stimulation without ejaculation can cause more to be produced and even expelled. The largest component of the ejaculate (60% or more by volume), the milky semen, is produced in the seminal vesicles. This liquid is actually a fructose sugar based substance to nourish the sperm. This would suggest that the ejaculate might have a sweet taste if the prostate’s alkaline contribution could be reduced or neutralized with a tasteless base (as in opposite of acidic) substance.

During sexual arousal, sperm and ejaculatory fluid accumulate in these glands backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When fluid pressure is high enough the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the ejaculatory reflex and muscular contractions of orgasm, which empties the glands.

If there is no ejaculation or other emptying of these glands, all of the ejaculate is reabsorbed into the body. Again, there is no buildup of fluid except during arousal. Mere denial of sexual relief (without arousal) does not create an urgent physical need to ejaculate or empty these glands. Nor is there any physical basis for saying that longer denial alone produces greater need or desire for ejaculation. All of these effects are psychological, and are powerfully contributed to by repeated states of arousal without relief.


The basis for orgasm control/denial is founded, in part, on the idea that while the male is interested in pursuing sexual release he will be more solicitous of the lady’s pleasure, and in general more amenable to various services for her. For some, an additional motive is that more time between his releases will make them more powerful and pleasurable. However, the truth is that these effects are a complex mix of psychological and physiological effects, created by repeated “teasings” or other arousal which engage his desires and build at an emotional level.

After an ejaculatory orgasm, complete with all of the other physical and emotional aspects, there is a physical refractory period during which the body does not respond to sexual arousal. This period is usually shorter in younger men and longer in older ones. Psychologically too, immediately after orgasm men are not often thinking about the next sexual release. Some have taken this fact and made a bit more of it than the data actually support. Consequently there is a great deal of advice centered around using “milkings” instead of full orgasm to keep him in that state of desiring sexual release. It should be noted that there is nothing in this “physical downtime” that prevents him from focusing his actions on the lady’s pleasures.

Whether or not a couple wishes to employ total orgasm denial for the male is a personal one. The reasons for this choice are varied and depend on many factors of their particular relationship and individual psychology. However, if the primary reason is to avoid a period in which he is not interested in sexual release (and supposedly less interested in serving her) then it is not necessary to completely avoid the full orgasm. Total denial would “make sense” only if his service to her was based exclusively on his own sexual arousal and satisfaction, and if his sexual desire did not return quickly.

The physical refractory period is relatively short, and skillful use of teasings and other arousal can quickly re-engage the male. In fact, many of the websites advocating the use of chastity devices for the male and long or permanent denial of orgasm cite (possibly questionable) statistics about the rate of male masturbation. These statistics by themselves should demonstrate that many males, on their own, quickly re-engage in the desire for the next sexual release. Therefore making complete denial in order to maintain a high degree of sexual desire (and desire to serve her) unnecessary.

Mere denial does not produce increased need or desire for sexual release unless there is an emotional/psychological element. In fact, denial in the absence of sexual opportunity or surroundings more often results in a loss of interest. Consequently, when the desired benefits of orgasm control include building and focusing sexual energy, there must be fairly constant focus on the potential of sexual release, usually best accomplished with regular teasing and arousal.

Even though the fluids created during arousal are reabsorbed if not discharged, such repeated engorgements, and build up of pressure prior to what would be an ejaculation may cause some irritation and swelling of the prostate. This condition is called prostatitis. This is likely the origin of the idea that the fluids are constantly building if there is no release. In any event, orgasmic release or prostate massage or milking can temporarily reduce this effect. Remember that engorgement of the prostate is an effect of (not the cause of) increased sexual desire. Likewise, engorgement of the scrotum (which can result from arousal that does not necessarily involve an erection) can cause tenderness or even aching, often known as “blue balls”. Orgasm generally will immediately remove or reduce this pain. How much relief may be obtained with prostate massage varies. Attempting to lift a heavy object, causing a tightening of the muscles behind the scrotum may also provide some temporary relief.

Prostate massage does not provide the ejaculatory muscles with the same exercise as an orgasm, and long periods without orgasm weakens those muscles. Initially this is noted as dribbled or very short distance ejaculation when full orgasm is allowed. More prolonged periods could see further deterioration of the muscle strength. After extreme lengths of time without full ejaculation the muscles may not be able to recover full strength. This is called muscle atrophy.

Another common misconception is that the body takes care of too much denial or too little exercise of the ejaculatory muscles through nocturnal emissions, so called “wet dreams”. The process through which this happens is complex and related to many other things. Predicting when or if it will happen is just not possible. Saying that this relief is the purpose of nocturnal emissions is truly a leap beyond the facts. A few things are certain; there are very few men past adolescence who have nocturnal emissions (regardless of their sexual frequency or lack of it), there are some who have never had any at all (even during adolescence), and there are men with weakened ejaculatory response from prolonged orgasm denial. These facts alone prove that nocturnal emissions do not reliably solve the physical problems or effects mentioned above.

Finally, there is a process called homeostasis, which essentially is just a way of saying the body tries to maintain all functions and processes in a balanced manner. Over time the body “learns” after repeated edgings without orgasm, that there will be no expelling of ejaculate, and consequently produces less. Taking a break from these orgasm denial activities from time to time, can “reset” the body’s mechanisms. In turn, this makes the next round almost as exciting and challenging as when first started.


When the prostate gland is engorged it can be felt from the outside by pressing a finger into the middle of the perineum, between the back of the scrotum and the anus. It is a rounded lump about the size of a large marble or golf ball. It can also be accessed via the rectum, where it can be felt as a rounded lump toward the front of the body and just about an index finger’s length inside the rectum. A better way to find it from the rectum is to insert the middle finger, and slide it from just inside the rectum (on the front side) up and in until you feel it move over a lump. That will be the prostate. Just in back of (up from) the prostate is a smaller and roughly triangular wedge shaped structure that is the bottom portion of the seminal vesicles, which is where most of the fluid of the ejaculate is produced and accumulated. Underneath the seminal vesicles are the ampulla.

The seminal vesicles, ampulla and prostate can also be emptied by massage of these glands through the rectum. Rhythmically massaging the organs in an in-and-out motion with an anal dildo is one way, but perhaps a more reliable way is to simply use either the middle finger or the middle finger and index finger together (well lubricated), to apply a firm slow massage over the glands inside the rectum. The massage will force the seminal fluid and sperm past the valves in the ejaculatory ducts. See Figure 2 below for motions from the outside of the gland toward the middle, as well as finger placement in rectum.

Once ejaculate appears at the mouth of the penis, it will help to empty the urethra by running a finger firmly up the underside of the penis from the root to the head, pushing the ejaculate in front of it. Usually only a few drops of liquid will be expelled, unless there was significant sexual arousal, enough to cause the production of ejaculate to be stored in the seminal vesicles, just before the procedure.

Despite personal stories relating volume to length of denial, a careful reading of these accounts and/or questioning of the participants always reveals that large amounts of fluid are only obtained when the procedure follows arousal. The length of arousal or number of “edgings” (getting very close to orgasm) most reliably predicts the amount of ejaculate extracted.

Light or gentle touch of the prostate through the rectum, or for that matter of the anus itself, is usually perceived as erotic and pleasurable. This has lead some to refer to the prostate as the male “G spot”. However, enough pressure on the prostate and seminal vesicles to expel fluids is most often felt as discomfort, if not actual pain, at least until the male eroticizes this contact. Individual responses, of course, do vary.

Prostate massage, with or without prior sexual arousal, does have the effect of relieving some of the swelling of prostatitis.

When this procedure is used as part of orgasm control games, a basic question needs to be answered: is it intended to be pleasurable for the male? If it is to be pleasurable, the possibilities range from a full orgasm aided and enhanced with prostate and penis stimulation, down to what is often called the “ruined orgasm” where stimulation is suddenly halted at the first sign of ejaculate, which usually means the resulting orgasm has less force. This is often considered psychologically less satisfying by the male. If stimulation of the penis is stopped for a brief time before the prostate massage begins (allowing arousal to drop back a bit) draining of the ejaculate will not trigger orgasm, even though a similar amount of fluid may be collected.


From the above it should now be clear that in orgasm control/denial play the physiological “need” for either orgasm or milkings is mostly to avoid potential prostatitis induced from the repeated arousals without release. Since this depends entirely on the frequency and degree of arousal, as well as individual response, which is different for each man, no definite schedule for everyone can be created. This physical “need” (the prostatitis) may have no symptoms at all, and is not perceived directly as increased sexual desire, though some men may detect symptoms of “fullness” and need to urinate, and eroticize those feelings which in turn, give rise to desire for sexual release.

It is also important to remember that weakening of ejaculatory muscles, as well as loss of ejaculate volume, is a very real and likely result of extended periods without ejaculation.

Even though there is no continuous build up of ejaculate causing increased interest in sexual release, it is important to remember that sexual arousal is at least as much a “mind game” as it is a matter of physiology. Such references during play may enhance the arousal of the male. Our point is just don’t get carried away with taking them literally and making decisions about the form and character of play based on inaccurate information.

Persistent difficulty in urinating, or painful urination, especially when it occurs days after a milking or release should be reason to consult a physician.


This is wrong, you're not pumping air, you gotta work with awareness, sensitivity and care.


This is better; you can use a device, one or even two fingers. You've seen on the previous page where the prostate is, so try and feel and massage it uniformly.

Detail of an external massage that can be performed to improve prostate comfort in men and reproductive health in women.

Massage taboos
What cases prostate problems?

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